TO BREATHE OR NOT TO BREATHE....

FOR QUITE A WHILE NOW I HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO SWALLOW MY FOOD PROPERLY.  WHEN IT HAPPENS-AND IT HAPPENS WHENEVER I EAT- I FEEL AS THOUGH I HAVE TO CHOOSE BETWEEN BREATHING OR EATING.  LET ME EXPRESS THE DREDD I FEEL KNOWING THAT I WILL MOST LIKELY EXPERIENCE A DROWNING SENSATION.  I KNOW ALL OF YOU READER ARE JUST TAKE A DRINK TO WASH YOUR FOOD DOWN. WHEN THIS IS HAPPENING-TAKING A DRINK WILL ONLY MAKE THINGS WORSE.  MY HUSBAND POUNDS ON MY BACK, HE YELLS FORCEFULLY TELLS ME TO RAISE MY ARMS, EVEN GETS A TRASH CAN READY.  I HAVE ENJOYED VERY FEW MEALS THESE LAST FEW YEARS.  I KNOW THIS SOUNDS AWFUL BUT THERE IS HOPE.  I AM GOING IN FOR A MODIFIED BARIUM SWALLOE TEST TOMORROW.  AS I EAT AND DRINK THEY WILL BE USING AN X-RAY TO SEE THE INNER WORKINGS OF MY THROAT.  MY SPEECH IS PROGRESSIVELY GETTING MORE INTERMITTANT AND KINDA WEAK. MY THROAT GETS REALLY STRAINED AS IF I HAVE BEEN YELLING FOR A LONG TIME SO A SPEECH THERAPIST WILL ALSO BE PRESENT DURING THE TEST. I AM SO HOPEFUL THAT THEY WILL HELP TO FIX THIS PROBLEM!